Will my child miss out on developing their social skills?
I don't know if you've had this experience, but when we've told people we are planning to home educate our children, a question that is often asked is "will they have a chance to develop their social skills?" There is an assumption, that even though home education has many benefits, children will "lack social experiences and therefore show poor social development," (de Carvalho, E. and Skipper, Y, 2019) "lacking the skills to function 'normally' in today's society" (Romanowski. M p.125, 2006). It seems there is this idea that children who are home educated are isolated from the wider world (Romanowski. M, 2006). The American Psychological Association published the thoughts of educational psychologists in the APA's magazine in 1996 (Murray,1996 cited in Medlin, 2000). These psychologists shared their concerns about home educated children not being able to mix or interact with others, and how they believed that home education shelters children from society, whereas traditional schooling means that children will grow in to "complete people" by the teaching of social skills. These psychologists were saying, that unless children experience the social life that they get in schools they will not have the necessary skills to deal with real life situations in later life (Romanowski. M, 2006).
Research tells a different story.
Socialisation
So what do we mean by socialisation? There are three main ideas around socialising (Medlin, 2000). Socialisation could mean social activity: playing with friends and taking part in activities, social influence: where children change or adapt their beliefs, attitude or behaviour as a result of spending time with others, or social exposure: exposing children to the culture and values of different groups of people. "The process of socialisation usually occurs in a child's daily activities as he or she interacts with individuals, the community, and the culture at large" (Romanowski. M p.126, 2006).
What Does Research Say?
I have found it challenging finding up to date research and especially research based in the UK, however, according to Ray (2017) most studies show positive outcomes for children's social development when they are home educated. When Medlin (2006) completed a review of research he found that children who were home educated showed no difference, or a difference favouring home educated children, with regards to their social skills compared to children who go to school. In his own research Merlin (2006) discovered that home educated children's social skills scores were consistently higher than those who attended public school, and Koehler et al (2002) found that they were above average. Smedley (1992) learnt that children who are home schooled are often more mature and have better leadership skills (Medlin. R, 2000). Children who are home educated also take part in daily routines in the community, they are not isolated but are learning the rules of behaviour and developing their own systems of beliefs and attitudes that they need (Medlin. R, 2000). Tillman (1995) ascertained that home educated children were contributing members of society even when they were young and had good self-esteem. Actually, some home educating parents argued that traditional schools themselves can create environments that stifle children's own individuality and harm their self-esteem (Medlin, 2000).
Age Integrated Socialisation
A positive aspect of home education is that it happens in an age integrated community or environment rather than segregated into age groups as in schools. Because children are not grouped with their peers, they learn to get along with people of all ages, which may be why they are more mature and able to deal with new or challenging situations (Galloway. R 1998 cited in Medlin. R, 2000). Children have more opportunities to interact with different people and socialise. De Carvalho and Skipper (2019) discovered that adolescents felt it was beneficial to socialise in diverse age groups. Smedley (1992) suggested that in traditional schools children socialise in a horizontal manner with their peers, whereas home educated children socialise vertically towards responsibility and adulthood. We experienced this vertical socialisation while attending a home education week. We were at the playground with other home ed families, and my son wanted to climb the climbing frame that was meant for 6-14 year olds. He was determined to do it. When he got to the top of the ropes, instead of asking me for help or giving up, he asked an older boy, who proceeded to give him a hand up. The boy then continued to ask my son if he needed help and helped him until he finished the climbing frame and went down the slide. You could see that they had already formed a little connection. I was thinking whether this would happen if that boy was not home educated and attended traditional school. This experience supports the research that home educated children interact and engage with all ages and show maturity and responsibility. When speaking to a friend who had been home educated, he shared how people at his work had commented on how comfortable and relaxed he seemed when speaking with senior colleagues, he was not intimidated by them or the situation. This again demonstrates how mixing and socialising with different ages can be beneficial as you develop the skills to converse and engage with people of all ages and walks of life.
Parents
"Perfect strangers seem far more worried about homeschooled children's social development than their own parents are. Research affirms that although homeschooling parents are not worried about their children's social development, they do care about it" (Medlin. R p.1, 2006). In fact home educating parents are incredibly committed to providing their children with opportunities to socialise (Romanowski. M, 2006). Parents have important roles to play in socialisation as they create the experiences for their children either by organising opportunities to interact with other children or by teaching them social skills such as turn taking (de Carvalho, E. and Skipper, Y, 2019). Many home educated children can be involved in numerous different activities with different kinds of people (Medlin.R 2000). In the late 1980s researchers found that parents were consciously giving their children opportunities to develop leadership skills (Montgomery. L, 1989). Parents were also giving the children responsibility with jobs around the house and letting them direct their own studies (Groover. S and Endsley. R, 1988). Taking on responsibilities such as these will help develop social skills and support children as they grow into independent adults.
Today, you can see how committed parents are to their children's socialisation. We are fortunate to be in an age where it is easy to connect, find activities, information and support. There are so many different activities, social meet ups, clubs or networks that you can join to ensure your child has the opportunity to mix with other children. Facebook is a great place to join groups and connect with other home educating families locally and further afield. People are great at sharing events and sharing local meet ups, so take a look, pop along and see what works for you and your family. Home educated children perhaps have more opportunities to socialise and try new things that interest them and build connections with different people than at traditional schools.
The idea for this post came from some one asking about how we would ensure our son developed social skills. I started to wonder if there was research on this area out there. I found that there is, although limited especially for the UK, but the majority is positive for home education. As I outlined above, you can see how well home educated children do with regards to their social skills and the benefits it gives them. Hopefully now, if someone questions you about socialisation, you will have some more information to share about how well home educated children do, and actually how the opportunities home educated children have might be even more beneficial for their social development.
de Carvalho, E. and Skipper, Y. (2019) “We’re not just sat at home in our pyjamas!”: a thematic analysis of the social lives of home educated adolescents in the UK. European Journal of Psychology of Education, 34(3), pp. 501-516. (doi: 10.1007/s10212-018-0398-5)
Groover. S. V & Endsley. R.C (1988). Family environment and attitudes of homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers. Champaign, IL: ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education.
Koehler. L, Langness. T, Pietig. S & Stoffel. N & Wyttenbach. J (2002). Socialization Skills in Home Schooled Children Versus Conventionally Schooled Children.
Medlin, R. G. (2000). Home Schooling and the Question of Socialization. Peabody Journal of Education, 75(1–2), 107–123. https://doi.org/10.1080/0161956X.2000.9681937
Medlin, R. (2006). Homeschooled children’s social skills. Home School Researcher, 17(1), 1–8.
Montgomery. L, (1989). The effect of homeschooling on the leadership skills of home schooled students. Home school Researcher, 5(1), 1-10
Ray, B. D. (2017). A systematic review of the empirical research on selected aspects of homeschooling as a school choice. Journal of School Choice, 11(4), 604–621. https://doi.org/10.1080/15582159.2017.1395638
Smedley, T. C. (1992). Socialization of home schooled children: A communication approach. Retrieved 14 March, 2025 from the World Wide Web: https://www.academia.edu/78619742/Socialization_of_home_school_children_a_communication_approach
Tillman, V. D. (1995). Home schoolers, self-esteem, and socialization. Home School Researcher, 11(3), 1–6.
Comments
Post a Comment